i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
babies were throwing up all over the place
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
