She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
