dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
