At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she peed on how many people?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
