from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
