my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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