Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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