I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
