yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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