i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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