U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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