First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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