She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
