Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
