Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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