I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
