i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
