She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
