Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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