Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
