so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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