we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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