oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
