How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
