Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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