why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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