Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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