i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
