Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
