I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
