stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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