in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
