I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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