Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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