she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
