Quick, to the slutcave!
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
