he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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