dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
