yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
