Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
