Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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