I never want to see another naked old woman again.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
