I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
