Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She bit a glass in half.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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