If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
