i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My penis needs a shock collar
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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