I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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