For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We left the knife in your bed.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
