either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
