your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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