420 ftw
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
